Prodigal Me





He sadly shakes his head as he watches me walk down the road;
Away from his heart, away from my home,
I leave my father with everything that I've known;
To pursue my own way to judge what's best,
Not thinking of all that I have left,
Or the consequence as a result of this test.

I live well enough only considering myself and I,
Hiding from the fears of the truth and a lie,
Pressing the cares to the back of my mind;
Til I finally look down upon my empty, empty hands,
And realize the insanity of my foolish plans.

I'd be better off if I were damned!
For how could I return with this obvious shame in my soul?
I find I never knew my father after all,
And I could never give back what I stole.

As I turn back in the rags of my own wealth and making,
I tremble to feel my heart breaking,
And bitterly regret my dreadful forsaking.

I arrive barefoot on the hill of my father's land,
And I cannot see past where I stand:
I know I am not a worthy man.

But here I wearily fall to my knees with tears in my eyes,
To hear the sound of a human voice cry:
"My son, I though you were dead but now you are alive!"
He embraced me with a love I'd forgotten was there.

My voice gives way to say the words I dared:
"I cannot be your son for I'm not worthy of your care."

He shook his head and tenderly he kissed his  beloved son,
"Bring to me my richest robes and quickly put them on,
Kill the fatted calf to rejoice with feast and song!
I know you are ashamed to think that there is no hope for you, 
But my love had never left and though you wandered from what was true,
You have finally been found and have found this love you thought you knew."

And sometimes a wanderer stumbles blindly, like a lamb who has gotten lost,
Though the ninety nine may not notice or even laugh and scoff,

The shepherd never gives up on the one no matter what it costs.

- olivia jane, 13/09/17

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Rest




Where do I find the rest I need

Not to satisfy my selfish greed

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Heart of Glass




Where are the cracks in your heart of glass

your failures and your flaws?

I'm only able to love what you show me

not what's behind those walls

Do you see this love for what it is

or as only gold for fools?

Do you think that showing brokenness

would be breaking all the rules?

But how can we love a perfect mask

when we know it hides a soul,

A heart with cracks and beautiful scars

that is worth the love and gold?

~ olivia jane

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Failure is Easier

15/08/16 - #laterblogpost

As I journey through failure...

I get the chance to reach out and consider someone, but I miss it completely because I make assumptions and get caught up in my own self.

I failed to consider and love someone.

I jack up at the smallest detail that shouldn't be an issue and decide to clam up the rest of the night and internally scold myself.

I failed again by irrationally overreacting.

Situations escalate to the point of ridiculous. I could have done something about it. But I didn't. So the Word spoken at the dinner table, then gets taken and beat against my head, leaving me black and blue with another failure.

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Through Fog


inspired by the sunlight 
that filtered through the fog 
to reach my eyes 
this precious morning


~

sunlight streams in
through my watery windows
I pour out my struggle
in watery tears

thunderclouds gather
above my teardrops
I see the reflections
of watery fears

straining to fall
through the fog to see
the fire of love
in the dead of the night

stumbling to seek
for something more
my humanness tries
to put up a fight

let your spirit be
the light on my path
for I know nought above
the ground where I stand

I cannot run blind
not pursuing your fire
I won't fight the dark
til you take my hand

~

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How Would It Be?

~

How strange it would be
That a shadow should not follow
How odd would it be
That a mirror not reflect

How wrong it would be
If a tree were not to grow
How sad would it be
To lose a man's respect

How strange it would be
That God should free a slave
How odd would it be
A rejection from His prize

How wrong it would be
To refuse the Hand that saves
How sad would it be
To stay a devil in His eyes

~

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Beneath the Ocean

Sometimes when it's hard to keep on going without answers, doubt is that rip in the ocean that tries to drag you down & out, to tear your eyes from Jesus to look at your fate in the waves of despair... 
but Jesus doesn't leave you there to drown beneath the ocean - He grabs your hand, and He says, "Why did you doubt?"

~

What lies beneath the ocean?
It's a mystery to me;
If I live beneath the ocean,
is there air enough to breathe?

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